Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Comma, Comma, Comma, Comma, Chameleon!

My fellow, Literati!  Oh!  How I hang my head in shame!  It’s been weeks since I’ve posted a new blog and I am ashamed!  There are reasons, excuses as to why I found no time between work, writing, and critiquing...but I’d rather not bore you! 

I hope this post finds you all well and happy! 
I’m in an awesome writing group and received my Middle Grade novel back from one of my reviewers (let’s call her E.K. because she comes up again later).  I’m fortunate enough that she’s also an editor at a very big publishing house and her feedback was amazing!  I’ve updated the novel and am ready to now send it to the agents that requested it at Backspace.  Super excited!  I must admit, my “Thank You” page in my novel is going to be quite long!
I also received a few blog awards from the awesome E.B. Pike!  Check out her blog, Writerlious, it is awesome!  So  a BIG thank-you to E.B.  I’m not sure how to post the awards on my Blogger blog, but I tip my hat to you!
I thought I’d share a sentence with you that has been in my novel since it was just a very rough draft.  I’ve read my book about thirty times and never caught it.  Other have read my book and never caught it.  But it makes me laugh when I think about it.  E.K. caught it though and I love her comment that went along with it too.  Here’s the sentence:
“You need to eat young man!”
Did you catch the error?  E.K. pointed the error to me with this comment: “Unless he’s a cannibal, you’re missing a comma. (smiley face)”
No, he’s not a cannibal.  J  But it does remind us how important one little mark can be.  Do you have a favorite sentence or phrase that can mean something totally different if missing a comma?   More on commas to come!  Also, look for the next installment of our Fairy Tale series this week!
Happy Writing!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Tips from David L. Robbins

Hemingway said of writing, “We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”   A writer who understands the craft and understands the process will tell you that there will always be more to learn, I just didn’t realize HOW much there was to learn!  I’ve been writing for many a moon and though I wouldn’t call myself a seasoned writer, I thought myself fluent in the basics.  Wrong!  I learned so much about my own writing in one of the Backspace seminars I attended.  It was given by writer David L. Robbins.  You may know him as the author behind the book the movie Enemy at the Gates was based on.
I wanted to share some of my notes for those Literati who are writers or are pondering the idea.
According to Robbins, there are four very important parts of a story: Setting, Research, Point of View, and Tension.  I won’t be able to go over everything in one blog post; my notes total at least twenty pages!  So I’ll list some of the stronger points from the presentation. 
  • Do not write what you know; write what you learn.  Robbins gave this as an example: You’re in a classroom where a presentation is interrupted by sirens outside.  The teacher tells a student to go see what has happened.  The guy is going to come back, out of breath, and tell you something like, “Oh my gosh!  There are four cars piled on top of each other, there’s smoke and fire, debris litters the streets, the firemen are pulling people out of crushed cars with the Jaws of Life, and there are people arguing in the streets!” You’ve got the emotion and the detail in his voice.  But if you ask him a year later, “Hey, what did you see that day of the accident?”  He’d probably reply, “There was an accident with four cars and it was pretty bad.”  You lose the excitement and the detail.   So write what you LEARN, retain that excitement and detail in your writing.
  • Don’t use tricks to excite readers – “accidental” surprises and convenient revelations are transparent and are used when there is a weak story or weak writing.
  • Readers want to connect to the protagonist, but writers tend to “foil the link” with weak writing.  Don’t write what your character can’t see, don’t hesitate, don’t muddle your sentences with unnecessary words.  Example: “He shrugged his shoulders.” No – “He shrugged.”  “He looked up to the sky.”  No – “He looked to the sky.”
  • Have distinct characters.  We are storytellers; do not write about normal people.  Don’t make your protagonist a victim.  Strong characters drive the story and can’t be taken out.  Characters are not the WHAT in your story, the plot is the what.  Characters are the WHY.
  • See the world through the character’s eyes.  Imagine a castle being looked upon by two brothers on a far off hill.  One brother has just returned from fighting in a war, he is to be king, and he loves his home.  The other brother is jealous, he has bottled anger, and he hates his home.  Both brothers will be looking to this castle with different feelings, different thoughts; tell your story through your protagonist’s POV.
  • Stakes.  Establish the stakes on page one.  Don’t sacrifice stakes.  Have an imbalance and make it clear to the reader that there will be this imbalance, this struggle.  What is at risk?  Manipulate who knows what.  Engage the reader.  Your character is about to open a door the reader knows is the closet the killer is hiding in.  You want your reader to be saying, “No!  No!  Don’t open the door!!”  You have to make the reader care.
  • Precision is concision.  Never let two words do the job of one.  Watch out for those weed words (see previous blog post, Weed Words?  I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Weed Words!).  Don’t waste a page in a kitchen (unless it’s an integral part of the story).
  • Integrate place into your story.  Embrace opportunities to describe the setting. 
  • Strong writing.  Don’t use expressions or clichés.  Stay away from mundane expressions.  Be careful with prepositions, the obvious, extra words, and redundancies.  Examine each sentence.  Each sentence has to move the story forward.
  • No info dumps.  Never have anything on the page that the character isn’t thinking.  Do not engage backstory until the character is thinking about it.  No flashbacks. 
  • Show, don’t tell.  Create scenes and describe what is happening to your character, do not tell the reader how the character feels.  (Again, see the previous post, Weed Words?  I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Weed Words!).
And most of all, know that rejection does not mean stop.  Happy Writing!

Monday, June 25, 2012

The Real Story: The Little Mermaid

As most of you know, Disney Studios doesn’t always come up with their blockbusters from scratch. They borrow from some of the most well-known creators of fairytale lore: Hans Christian Anderson and The Brothers Grimm. They pepper the plot with a little pixie dust (for the kiddies) and out pops a smash hit, along with a love ballad.


But what some of you may not know are the REAL stories. On that note, I introduce to you The Real Story series. We’ll focus on the original stories of Disney’s most coveted; down to the sordid details.

To kick the series off, I bring you The Little Mermaid (or The Little Sea Woman, as it was originally titled).

The story takes place in the deepest of the deep ocean, a place no human could ever travel. The Little Mermaid was a princess who lived in this bottomless abyss with her father (the Sea King), her grandmother, and her five older sisters. Each princess had a plot of land in which to grow a garden, and days were filled with play and laughter. Only, the Little Mermaid spent most of her time tending to her garden. She wasn’t like her sisters, who delighted in swimming around the castle. The Little Mermaid had once come upon a shipwreck where she found a human statue. She placed this statue in her garden alongside her favorite flowers.

The Little Mermaid was always asking her grandmother to tell her stories about life outside the ocean; she learned of humans and other animals. The mermaids had beautiful voices, and none were so beautiful as the six princesses. Now, the mermaids’ lives spanned for 300 years and at the age of 15, they were allowed to swim to the surface of the water to see the earth. When the Little Mermaid turned 15, she swam up with vigor and excitement.

As she breaks the water, she rises upon a ship and looks through its windows. She sees the prince and instantly falls in love with him (side note: the prince has just turned the manly age of 16). A massive storm hits that night and the ship is smashed into bits by mighty waves. At first, the Little Mermaid is happy to see the prince sinking into the depths, until she remembers that her grandmother said that humans can’t live in water. So she saves the guy.

She works very hard to keep him alive and drops him off at a temple built off the sea’s coast. The Little Mermaid hides behind a large rock to make sure the prince recovers, before he does; a young woman approaches him and then calls for help. He soon awakens and is shaking hands and smiling with everyone...everyone, except the Little Mermaid.

The Little Mermaid was devastated and broken hearted. She longed to be with the prince. In her sorrow she neglected her garden, stopped talking, and refused to tell her sisters what she had seen at the surface. She finally broke down and told one sister, who told the others. Together, they found the palace and took their little sister to the prince. The Little Mermaid spent her days and nights watching the young prince from the sea, falling deeper in love with him.

She asks her grandmother if humans live as long as mermaids and her grandmother tells her that humans have shorter life spans. However, she explains, humans are given eternal life after they die, unlike mermaids, who after their 300 years basically become sea foam. The only way a mermaid can have eternal life is to get a human to love her more than anything in the world and part of the human’s soul will transfer to the mermaid. She also reminds her granddaughter that humans have legs and find fishtails quite repulsive.

The Little Mermaid decides to see the Sea Witch for help, crossing over to her part of the sea wrought with death and decay and mutant animal/plant hybrids. The Sea Witch lives inside a house built from human bones, she allows a toad to eat from her mouth, and sea snakes to “crawl all over her bosom.” The sorceress knows what the foolish princess wants. She tells her that she will give her legs, make her the finest dancer, and that every human will see her as the most beautiful girl they’ve ever seen, but warns that each step she takes with her human legs will be like stepping on the blades of the sharpest of knives.

The Little Mermaid agrees, but there’s more fine print. The Sea Witch also tells her she can never return to the sea, never see her family again, will never be able to speak again, and that if the prince marries someone else, then she’ll die from a broken heart. Still, the princess accepts the terms. The witch makes up a pot of magic potion, finally pricking her breast with a needle and allowing her black blood to drip into the pot. She bottles the concoction and hands it to the Little Mermaid before cutting out her tongue.

The mermaid swims to the shore and drinks from the twinkling bottle, waking up naked and with two long legs and small feet. The prince finds her and she covers her body with her long hair. He takes her back to his castle, fits her in the finest robes, and she tags along wherever he goes. She dances for him and he is so enchanted by her gracefulness, he tells her she shall be with him always. So the princess is allowed to sleep outside his door on a red cushion (sweet!). She follows the prince everywhere he goes like a willing and happy little lovesick puppy. Her sisters find her and they cry for their loss.

One day the prince tells the Little Mermaid about his love for her, you know, the kind of love he would have for a small child. He tells her how he’s in love with a woman that saved his life when his ship wrecked in a storm. He says this is the only woman he could ever love. When his parents arrange his marriage to a neighboring princess, he tells the Little Mermaid he will not marry the princess and, “I would rather choose you, my dumb foundling, with those expressive eyes.” (What a sweet talker.)

But of course, when he goes to meet the princess, he finds that she was the woman in the temple who he thinks saved his life. The pair are married immediately.

The Little Mermaid waits for death to come, but instead, her sisters appear before her on the ship on which the wedding was held. Their long beautiful hair has been chopped off and they tell her they gave their hair to the Sea Witch in exchange for the Little Mermaid’s life. The witch has given the sisters a knife that the Little Mermaid must use to kill the prince, allowing his blood to touch her feet. His blood will transform her legs back into a fish tail and she can return to the sea. But the Little Mermaid cannot kill the prince. She tosses the knife into the sea and throws herself into the ocean, dying upon impact.

But this isn’t the end for the Little Mermaid. She is met by the “daughters of the air” – pretty much ghosts. These ghosts tell her that she has earned immortal life, but before she can reach Heaven, she has to serve out a 300 year sentence, wandering the earth as a ghost.

However, if she finds good boys and girls who love and listen to their moms and dads, then she gets a year taken from her sentence. For every naughty kid, she gets a day added to her sentence.

And that’s it, Literati, the true story of the Little Mermaid. No happily ever after for the sea princess. That’s actually one of the more tame stories I’ll be sharing with you during this series.

As always, happy reading and writing!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Weed Words? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Weed Words!

As a writer you are constantly hearing the professionals talk about “tight writing.”  I thought I knew what this meant: have a good story with no loose ends.  Wrong!  I didn't understand what the term meant, until Backspace entered my life.
Tight writing keeps the reader in the story; the tighter the writing, the tighter your hold.  Okay, but what does it mean?  It means stay far, far, far, away from words that clutter your sentence.   Writers tend to like these words, they make us feel warm and fuzzy inside.  But beware; these words are evil little infiltrators that love sneaking into your sentences and muddling them.  Muddled sentences are bad.
Here’s a little exercise for you.  Take a page from whatever project you’re currently working on and see how many of these words you find:
About
All
Almost
As
Very
Only
Just
That 
These, Literati, are referred to as “weed words.”  Don’t Google the term though, you’ll be assaulted by pages and pages of links about marijuana.  True story.  A side note: Janet Reid, literary agent extraordinaire, refers to removing these words as a “that-ectomy,” essentially removing the word “that” from your writing.  But wait!  There are more evil infiltrators!  Adverbs and adjectives and infinitives...oh my!

What are the first ten rules of creative writing?  Anyone?  Anyone? Bueller?  Rules one through ten are the same: Show, don’t tell.   But what does it mean????  Allow me to drop some knowledge (thank you David L. Robbins!). 
She waited anxiously.
She sat waiting, biting her nails and shaking her leg. 

In the first example, the writer is telling the reader the character is anxious; in the second example, the writer is showing the reader that the character is anxious. 
 
Bottom line, we are storytellers and our readers want a good story, they long for one!  You’re a reader, you know this.  Our goal is to capture the reader and pull him/her into our story.  Make the story believable, create strong characters, and kill those weed words.  Weed words take a reader out of the story. 

Stay tuned for the first installation of the Fairytale Series (tomorrow) as well as more notes from Backspace, including details from David L. Robbins’ seminar.   If you are a writer, this is a MUST READ.

As always, happy reading and writing!

 

Monday, June 18, 2012

Summer Reading Conundrum

Having trouble figuring out what to read this summer?  I found this cool flowchart through Shelf Awareness, courtesy of teach.com.  Check it out:
My summer reading began with Swamplandia!.  But I have to be honest, I cannot get into it.  I’m a little less than halfway through it and am so tempted to stop and move on to another novel.  I make it a rule to not give up on a book, even if doing so is torture, I always finish a book.  Now, as a super busy mom with a full-time job and a strict writing schedule, it may be time to nix that rule.  I don’t have time to waste on a book I don’t enjoy.   
Do you finish a book, even if you aren’t enjoying it?  How many chances do you give a novel before you give it the boot?  Or are you a reading soldier, trudging along each agonizing sentence until the last word, never giving up? 
I look forward to reading your personal philosophy on finishing novels!  Happy reading and writing!

My trusty grammar source: